For you

Once upon not long ago Id give my ears to hear your voice Id give my hands to feel your touch Id give my only to give you choice Oh but not for me Oh not for me Not for me For you Sooner still were days i knew Id lost my ears and your song I lost my hands and your touch Id given but was i wrong? Oh but not for me Oh not for us Not for me For you Now ablurr they coincide These days are terror dreams awake A moments peace wont remain unshattered for pitys sake Tomorrow see the speckled meadow The fiery petals once would shine Gey in hue the flowery hillside Bereft the light that once was mine The chest i carry now is empty All of me has left behind To you ive left all i once cherished All ive lefts a broken mind

Shit Sandwich

Can i be the spine to a book Whose pages i cannot see Cannot be told of their content Because it would tear me apart? Can i hold dearly the leaves which call to me at my weakest and twice at my greatest strength but only in the face of a hurricane? A cloud might wish to hold its weight A sky might hope to fade from sight Should life be measured by what it consumes or what it sacrifices? Is it truly life if it cares not for itself? The essence of potential springs forth only if the trap is set only if triggered Only regret remains Can i be restful forever on the sidelines Where i can hear see taste and feel The game is before me but will forever be behind Below Astride my sorrow i ride ahead Ready to face despair eternal Happy to eat endless crow Because i steered the cattle I built the tracks And i never knew why But i will take more bread That i taste less of my shit sandwich

Gaping isolation

If you kept my love in title, i would hold a spot for you in my heart and life until the day you claimed or cleft that name The roses and fungus climb from the corpse of our combined couch rot Our equator is far below half and far past equal. Our faces spill forth that which we wish to hide and yet we sit upon our own asses as if they had nowhere else to rest the weary haunches that have carried us this far. Our outlet is benign as long as nobody sees it happen. Guile is our legality as being seen equates to false imprisonment. Our children bear the shame and degradation of our own predilictions. Our authenticitiy becomes a stamp of reality that vaguely represents our lost humanity, but lets not forget to destroy the nest in which we nurture our progeny, forever forth neglected as the family they where born into disintigrates entirely. The deepest regret feeds endlessly to the depth of sorrow i can fathom. Moment by moment unknown horrors unveil complex and devious machinations that have been in your wheelhouse for time untold. Your whim is a fickle pressure plate, and has sprung the trident through my breast and ive not yet felt the worst when the recoil leaves deep chasms of gaping isolation.

Defecit

From the serenity between my ears My concentration is broken For a moment as I hear my name and it starts The heat in my chest is unbearable Sweat pools under my whiskers Panic rushes my eyes to sweep Im sorry and i havent done it yet A roar beckons from within my chest As i feel my mouth open From my breath and pain The heat from within me spills Its tendrils touch everyone it finds Its sickly presence pervades Perverts Poisons Thanks adhd you fucking fuck

Untitled

I would not have been too proud To beg for your touch The spark in your fingers as they clasped mine The soft warmth of your cheek on my shoulder My heart reverberates at the thought Of your lips On the promise that maybe One day They would again meet mine I lay quietly Sobbing to myself Remembering what id lost What had been taken so abruptly What wasnt meant to be And never will again Whore

A man

I offered you my hand You only saw me as a man I understand Kindness seems a threat From a man you havent met not worth life to bet Dinner might just be bait To a non consented penetrate Better to extricate You saw my hand Wisdom tells you to run from man I understand Under a gray sky Broad smile looks like bold lie What does it buy? No name to give Your own trauma to relive Rightfully resistive I offered my hand Before i could really understand That to you im a man

Buried on the Hollow

It floats through the meadow so darkened by torment Words spoken have travelled theyll echo back in time The hollow it beckons the trees rocks and sediment Bury my sorrow and ease my sullied mind Suffer you bravely oh spirit of virtue Let not your impatience feed off of your star Theres wisdom in waiting as conscience will guide you Rest not on laurels your path yet takes you far The banks of the river are littered with debris Carried by currents so forceful and raw The deluge preceeded meant hope could not help but flee Let luna refill me my souls reservoir I bathe in the reason that pours out from deep inside The anger subsided the fade of my grief Complacent but empty im failing to find my pride The hollow contains it below dirt and leaf Search to the valley the flowers dark red flare Look to the mountains that stand upon their line Search to the meadow the pathway is beaten bare Deep in the hollow is buried whats mine Into the cold of the earth can you find it Shedding the haze from the veil of my sight Cleansed of the strife that had left me upended Out from my shadows and into my light

Crocodile Mouth

Start the day with bile your prejudice is apparent Your mouth of a crocodile Yet chastise me as parent I fall short of no measure No further than you do yourself I see you taking pleasure When you denigrate the steps i take for mental health Call me weak and broken This is your favorite thing to do While you brag about success That was given to you I cannot function Without impossibly irritating you I simply draw a breath And ive taken from you depth immaterial Respite isnt promised isnt given Isnt going to happen on your watch Given circumstances wouldnt it be wise to have me not against your lot Desire to denigrate and spoil You are the dagger in my chest Until the day my kin escape Til we leave your shadow in the west